How to Cook a Sad Steak

How to Cook a sad meal for a lonely man:

Step 1:

After you purchase your cut of choice, it’s good to leave it out for at least 20 minutes to let the meat come up to room temperature.


Step 2:

After the steaks have come to room temp, season your steaks.  Don’t be concerned if your tears (due to the loneliness you feel from missing your wife and kids) fall on the steak.  The added salt will bring an extra bit of flavor.


Step 3:

Since you’re cooking for one, there’s no need to cook all of the steaks.  Bag them up and save it for another lonely meal.  This is also a good way to remind yourself that your family is on the other side of the world while you’re the single steak left alone on the cutting board.


Step 4:

Place your pan on high heat and let it get super hot.  You should see it get smokey before you place your steak on the pan.


Step 5:

Place the steak onto the hot pan.  The sizzle of the steak cutting through your quiet home may remind you of your children running around and playing.  Again, additional tears on your steak during the cooking process will only bring additional flavor.


Step 6:

After you’ve let the steak cook on one side without touching it for a few minutes, flip it to cook the other side.  I like to put a chunk of butter on top and let it melt as it cooks.


Step 7:

Once you’ve achieved the cook you like your steak (I prefer medium plus), plate your steak and let it sit for 10 minutes to rest.


Step 8:

Enjoy your steak.  While you bite into your steak, pull up pictures of your family on your phone.  The excessive salt from your tears at this point might be too much for the steak, so be sure to have a napkin ready.

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